The Love of Lime
There's a phrase I hear thrown around...'We don't regret the past or wish to shut the door on it.' I get what they're saying, but let's be real. Things that seem like a great idea when you're 25, like marrying the guy, or moving to Paris, or starting a restaurant/gallery/school, are just too hard at 40, much less 50. We use these experiences to inform our lives and to help others (to just say NO), so I will always be a fan of a sharp memory bank, but do I wish it had been different? Well, of course! Don't you?
Even my mother thought I'd made an excellent match when I married Carl. He had a successful catering business, and I was his employee. I figured he was gay...handsome/funny/tasteful. Every time I like a man he's gay. That's the way it's always been and will continue through my life. Is this about sexual threat? Fear of commitment? Maybe...but more likely I want to be around a man who's sensitive, articulate, and irons his clothes. Maybe he might even iron mine if I'm lucky. Carl was all these things and more. He loved to spend money, was actually reckless in this regard, but I didn't notice that until later. When I started working for him I was just getting out of a relationship with a man, a 'conceptual artist', which meant that there was never a painting or drawing, or one single tangible object to show for his efforts, which amounted to going to the library, and running each morning on the beach, and of course attending every damn opening in Los Angeles every night of the week. He did not have a dime, and I'm guessing if he did, he would not have shared it with me. What was I thinking? So when I met Carl I was relieved that this was a different breed of cat. He worked hard and he ironed his clothes, and on our first date he brought over expensive champagne and lobster tails. LOBSTER TAILS! I could not resist this man of course, and we married a few months later.
I moved into his house in Venice, a modest ranch-style with a small kidney-shaped pool out back. I loved that pool, so 1965! How many hours did I spend out there in the sun with a gin and tonic? A hundred? Maybe not exactly one hundred, since his spending way exceeded his earning, and his drinking way exceeded his capacity for ever balancing a checkbook. We lived there for only a year until collection agencies started calling about the gas bill/ electricity/ mortgage payment. I was, of course, complicit in these problems, having decided on our wedding day that he would be taking care of everything in the world of money, and I would sit at the pool. We left that house with our tans intact, and our thirsts for gin alive and well.
So, about regrets. I don't regret the marriage though it ended badly. I do love to say 'I'm divorced'. I don't regret the cocktails, though there were far too many....I emerged intact, and I do love to say 'I don't drink'. What I regret is that dark tan. I have a lifetime achievement award from my dermatologist, and I spend so much time in her office now all the nurses and technicians know all about the ex-husband and the drinking and the pool, and all my time in the sun of course. They roll out a red carpet when I show up. I probably paid for that carpet. I walk around so often with bandaids on, that my friends have stopped asking 'What happened there?'
But about limes. The gin and tonic I can live without, but the limes! That taste, like nothing else. That shimmering pale green slice floating in icy liquid as it condenses on the glass. I can still have that! I seek to use limes instead of lemons whenever possible. The taste is just, well, so much more zingy and green! You can always find them out there, though the prices vary wildly at different times of the year. Go to your farmer's market for the best ones. Squeeze slightly to make sure they have a thin skin and plenty of juice.
Lime and Ginger Beurre Blanc
3 tablespoons lime juice (2 small limes)
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
2/3 cup heavy cream
1 stick butter (8 tablespoons)
¼ teaspoon honey
1 tablespoon finely grated ginger
1 tablespoon finely minced cilantro
pinch salt
In a heavy small pan pour lime juice and vinegar. Over low heat reduce this by half. Don't walk away from the stove. This will happen fast...maybe 10 minutes. Whisk in cream slowly, and keep whisking as you add the butter one tablespoon at a time. The sauce will be thick. Take off the flame and whisk in honey, ginger, cilantro, and salt. This is extremely tangy. If it's too strong for you a bit more cream won't mess it up. If you hate cilantro leave it out, but I'll never talk to you again. Pour this over salmon or asparagus.