Days of Wine and Roses and Hot Dogs
Oh hindsight. It's true what they say. 20/20. I had a 5-year marriage and I wish I could tell you I was too young to have known better, but I was 30....not so young....and then there were those martinis.
I bet I wouldn't have married him had it not been for the martinis, always drunk out of those beautiful long-stemmed glasses with the cone shaped cup, always with an olive on a toothpick tilting at a jaunty angle out of the top, flavoring the liquid just slightly with brine. Long after I quit drinking I was in Pottery Barn, and turned a corner to find myself face-to-face with rows of those glasses, lit from below. It was just like running into an old lover you never quite got over, who stilled looked amazing and young.
Damn it! It just didn't work out!
That husband loved to entertain, and we gave great parties in our house with the pool out back. The best part of the marriage was the fun we had cooking together, and drinking while cooking. He could really hold his liquor, but a few years into it I wasn't holding up so well, and though the parties started out well, I would usually have to withdraw into the bedroom to pass out, which I called 'taking a nap'. I never heard the 'Where's Maud?' that would echo through the house when I would disappear about half-way through.
There was a big banana palm in the yard, and we decided to make frog's legs one night (can you just feel the tone of decadence?) and display them on the long elegant dark green leaves with which we covered our picnic table. At the time it seemed witty and fun. I'm sure there were other dishes we made, equally clever and probably expensive. That man LOVED to spend money! One of the reasons I married him....hindsight again, so predictable. I disappeared into the bedroom before the meal even happened that night.
One of the things about drinking heavily is that your sleep is never long enough, or deep enough, or refreshing enough. In those days I would always awaken (come-to) at dawn, desperate for another hour or two of sleep...just enough to skip the morning hangover. I always like to say these days that lack of the morning hangover is enough to keep you sober for at least five years once you get the hang of it. But the morning after that particular party was like many others....awake at 6 am, feeling lousy and guilty about having passed out.
“Just a breath of fresh air,” I thought as I made my way quietly to the sliding glass doors that led to the pool. Slowly I pulled back the blinds, slid open the door, and stood there, wondering if I was hallucinating ( a really bad hangover can do that to you). Bobbing in our pool were about 50-75 hot dogs. It was kind of pretty really, the pink of the meat juxtaposed to the blue-green water. When I think of that vision now I realize that was the perfect snapshot of my marriage. I missed it.
Homemade Ketchup
Maybe it sounds crazy to make your own when there's Heinz. Try this though, and you'll see it's so much better.
Half a brown onion, diced small
2 tablespoons canola oil
1 garlic clove, crushed
½ teaspoon allspice
1 small can tomato paste
1 cup water
2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons molasses
¼ cup balsamic vinegar
A pinch of salt and pepper
Sauté onion and garlic in oil until translucent. Add Allspice and fry until fragrant. Add all other ingredients and stir until thickened. I like to leave this slightly chunky, but you can put this in the blender once it's cooled if you prefer a smoother ketchup. It lasts a long long time in the refrigerator so you'll always have some on hand for your backyard parties.